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When I tried "Cheating" I ended up down the rabbit hole of life ~

Falling down the rabbit hole ~ Cheat your heart out!

I don’t know about you, but when I “cheat” on my diet I go to the extreme. It’s because I have an extremist personality. Now, I’ve really denied this in the past! So every meal during a “cheat” is as if it’s my last one. 

The mentality is “This is the last cheat meal I’m eating, so I’m going to eat whatever I want to eat”. I’ll almost pig out. Not lying! I’ll eat a ton of bread thinking it’s the very last time I’ll ever eat it again. That’s the true issue with me cheating on a diet. Every meal is as if it’s the last so I better get in all I want! 

Let me tell you that mentality will get you fat. It’s true! You’ll be out of control in a blink of your eye. After a year I decided to cheat for a bit. It started out as “I’ll cheat only on New Year’s Eve” and then it went to “Only while I’m staying at the resort for New Year’s Eve for our Anniversary”. And then, “Ok, only for the month of January”. Well, it went past St. Valentine’s Day and there I was still cheating and with a gain of almost 20 pounds! If that doesn’t scream addict, I don’t know what does! So, the latest excuse was that it is also the first day of Lent. “I’ll give up cheating on the diet for Lent”. That worked out great. I did it and haven’t cheated.

But, why can’t I do just a cheat meal here and there? Why am I such an extremist? If I never get to the end of that question I’ll never resolve the issue of being overfat for life! It’s as if I continuously keep drawing the line in the sand and stepping right over it. 

The inner fat girl in me just can’t seem to control my surroundings in a cheat situation. As I write this I’m having that sinking feeling of disappointment. My goodness I disappoint myself more than I do anyone else. I have lots of people in my life, but I am the one that continuously disappointments me. 

The rabbit hole is where I slip down the minute I start to eat something that is not on my daily diet. One meal can do it. I’ll just have the meal and within minutes the feelings of guilt overcome me. But apparently that doesn’t deter me! You would presume that those feelings of guilt would stop me from slipping down that rabbit hole. Nope! I’ll just keep cheating and keep the hate going!